Day 26

Hmm…tonight was a good night. Today was just one of those days when you just go from meeting to meeting to meeting to meeting and then after your mind is numb, stumble into the prayer room and just soak. It is amazing how much of the Lord’s heart he will download when you just sit still and wait in silence.
Tonight, I was studying Jesus’ last week before the cross. After Jesus has been anointed by Mary in Bethany, the next day Jesus begins the last leg of His journey into Jerusalem. He sends two of His disciples ahead of Him to find a donkey for Him to ride in to the city on. It might seem random, but this is to fulfill a prophecy that was spoken about the Messiah about 450 years before,

“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey, a colt the foal of a donkey.” (Zechariah 9:9)

This is an amazing verse to meditate on! In the midst of her oppression and her face that is downcast, the cry goes forth, “Rejoice! Sing! Shout!” What could lift the face of Israel? It is the promised hope of the coming Messiah. It is no wonder that the people reacted the way that they did. The people were rejoicing because the time of their oppression is over. The people were seeing Zechariah 9:9 played out right before their eyes; they were living in the days of prophecy fulfilled. Now all they were waiting for was for Jesus to fulfill the next verse,

“I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim and the horse from Jerusalem; the battle bow and the spear shall be cut off. He shall speak peace to the nations; His dominion shall be ‘from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth.’”

In their minds the Romans will be overthrown within the week. But little do the people know that between verse 9 and 10 there is a 2000 year delay. And here we stand, looking back on the day when He came lowly on a donkey and looking forward when He will return and in righteousness and justice He will make war. And yet His heart remains the same. Oh, the beauty of this man! Just and true are all your ways! I long for the day when I will look up and see my redemption drawing near! Come Lord, Jesus. We long for you.

Day 25

Due to an interesting turn of events, I seem to have gotten a new part time job for the weekends. So, that is my reason for not blogging for the past few days, please accept my sincerest apologies, Jerry, you can take the bag off your head now...
Tonight I was meditating on a verse that does not contain the word behold, but it is my opinion that it should and so I am including it here. John 6:16-20,

"Now when evening came, His disciples went down to the sea, got in the boat, and went over the sea toward Capernaum. And it was already dark and Jesus had not
come to them. Then the sea arose because a great wind was blowing. So when they
had rowed out about three or four miles [BEHOLD] they saw Jesus walking on the
sea and drawing near the boat; and they were afraid. But He said to them, "It
is I, do not be afraid."

Jesus, the God-man walked on water! But the question for me tonight was why? What was Jesus thinking and feeling as He was walking out to meet His disciples in the middle of a storm? Here is just one possible thought based on tonight's meditation. I was looking at the feeding of the five thousand that happened right before this event. Jesus multiplied bread and astounded the multitudes. They were so astounded that they wanted to make Him king by force. The people were ready to start a revolution! So Jesus withdrew to pray and sent His disciples ahead of Him. I can only imagine what the disciples were thinking about Jesus. Were they thinking about who would be the greatest in His kingdom? Were they thinking about how powerful and rich they would be? I can imagine their pride swelling, but that pride could lead to false ideas about who this man is. But as Jesus aproached them on the water, all of those false ideas came crashing down. He isn't just some guy who could multiply bread, this is the very son of God. This is more than a cool story, it is the fear of the Lord. He is that awesome thing. He can't be controlled, marketed or publicized. The only response to this sight is on of worship and wonder. "Truly, you are the Son of God."

Day 21

While Zack might be asking the question of whether of not we should 'behold' movies and T.V, I am going to try to avoid controversy (for now) and continue to 'behold and bless the Lord' instead. I don't have a specific verse for the night, just a series of thoughts. On Thursday nights our prayer room team takes communion together. It is amazing how much more impact the cross will have when you have been meditating on the incarnation. Suddenly the phrase, "This is my body broken for you," means a whole lot more when you realize that it is GOD who is speaking. Not only did the eternal second person of the trinity take on the likeness of sinful flesh and dwell among sinful humanity, but He laid down His life to redeem us to Himself. He allowed His flesh to be torn, He allowed His blood to be poured out.

It is stunning and offensive and when it really impacts your heart, it is much more fascinating than any T.V show could ever be.

Day 20

For anyone who was not at the 4am intercession set tonight, man... you missed out. I don't know if they planned it or not, but the whole theme of the set was to behold and bless the Lord. Choruses included:

Fill me with the knowledge of God,
with the knowledge of you,
with the knowledge of the Holy Holy

I want to burn like the cherubim burn,
I want to see what the seraphim see,
I want to burn like the cherubim burn
Holy Holy

You who stand by night in the house of the Lord,
Will you behold? Will you behold?

Basically, my whole night was hijacked. Every time I started to review my notes from class today, I would start crying or singing or praying or clapping or something. It was absolutely wonderful.

It's amazing! We are the generation that will actually get to see His face! We will join with the heavenly chorus and cry Holy, for when we are presented with such transcendent beauty, all other words will fail!

Day 19

Today in class, Stephen Venable was teaching on John the Baptist and the Forerunner Ministry. We were looking at a passage in Isaiah 40:9, “

O Zion, you who bring good tidings, get up into the high mountain; O Jerusalem, you who bring good tidings, lift up your voice with strength, lift it up, be not afraid; say to the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!”

However, today Stephen said that it isn't Zion who is calling the people to behold their God but a better translation of this passage sees these verses as still referring to the ‘voice’ of vs. 3-5, the ASV says,

“O thou that tellest good tidings to Zion, get thee up to a high mountain; O thou that tellest good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!”

So this is a charge to the forerunner to call the people of Israel to behold their God; to see Him as He truly is, to gaze upon His beauty. The forerunner is exalting Jesus so that “all mankind together will see it.” However, it is impossible to call someone else to behold that which you have not gazed upon yourself. Before anyone can bear witness to the light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ, they must gaze upon that light themselves. Otherwise, what will you say? How would you tell others that He is good unless you have experienced it yourself? I was really encouraged today just because I know that the last two years that I have been in Kansas City might seem like a waste to some, but all those hours of beholding the Lord are writing a message on my heart. I will be able to tell others, not about doctrines, but about a man. “Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved; this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!” (Sos 5:16).

Day 17

So I am still looking at the incarnation, and as I was re-reading Luke 1 I stumbled across verse 38,

"Then Mary said, 'Behold, the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.' And the angel departed from her."

I am sure many people over the centuries have tried to figure out just how much Mary understood about what the angel was telling her. If she truly understood all of the ramifications, all of the suffering and rejection that she would have to endure in addition to watching her eldest Son be tortured and crucified on a Roman cross, would she still have said yes? Behold the maidservant of the Lord! This is such a striking sentence. Maidservant, one who will completely obey the will of her Lord regardless of the risk on her part. I know that God chose her because He saw that this response was firmly in place in her heart. She may not have known exactly what was happening in that instant and even less of an idea what the future would hold, but she knew that God was faithful and so she knew that she could say yes to Him. Because, if you can't trust God, then who can you trust?

Day 16

I promised on Day 13 that I would come back to Isaiah 7:14,

"Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel." (God with us).

Since Wednesday I have not been able to pull my mind away from the Incarnation. Now, while that sounds romantic and mystical, for me, it is frustrating. No matter how many times my mind returns to the mystery of God becoming flesh, I just can't comprehend it. But this is such a crucial part of the 'God Story.' From the time of the fall God has been longing to dwell with us. This first seen in the Tabernacle of Moses when God commands Moses to make a tent of skin for Him to dwell in (Ex 26:14). This was the manifest power of God in the form of a pillar of fire making a way to dwell in the midst of the children of Israel; to be their God and for them to be His people. And after the pillar of fire lifted and the glory departed from the temple, the Lord had more permanent plans to dwell with us. This is the foundation of the Incarnation, the desire in the heart of God for Him to be 'with us'. Not just to rule us or to have made us, but He actually joined Himself to humanity forever by taking on our dust and laughing, weeping and bleeding with the rest of human kind. What kind of God is this who would even have this thought in His head? Many people have an idea of God as a stoic god who is unconcerned with human affairs. But this is the farthest thing from the truth, Jesus Christ cannot be unconcerned with the affairs of men because He is now and will be forevermore, a man. He is a Bridegroom, a King, a Judge and a sympathetic High Priest who has run the gambit of human experience while remaining without sin and now all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Him; and even while I am writing this it is amazing who little of this I fully understand. It is simply amazing that the God who created the heavens and the earth desires for me to be with Him where He is (Jn. 17:24) and that He manifested that desire by taking on my frame and entering the world as a helpless baby.

Truly this is a truth worth beholding for eternity.

Day 14

Tonight was just one of those nights when I leave the prayer room feeling like a Martha. This is what I mean.
I left the Ferguson's house at about 11:30 pm, which gave me just enough time to make the trek from Raymore to the house of prayer, find a good seat and then get to a prayer room team meeting at midnight. The meeting lasted until 1:30am, but then we had a prayer room team leaders meeting that went until 2 am. I finally settle into my seat as Emily Russell begins to sing. I open my bible and then remember that I have about 25 emails waiting for me that have to be answered by morning. So I open up my laptop, typing furiously because I know that I have an e-12 that meets at 3am. I finish my last email at 2:55, sigh deeply, say a quick, "I love you Lord," and head to the briefing room. E-12 tonight was probably the best part of my night. We just went through our bible and picked out descriptions of the New Jerusalem for an hour. (Abraham was looking for a city whose builder and maker was God!) It was really good. Then on to the 4-6am intercession set where I was running sound. Finish that up with a de-brief til 6:15am and that was my night. Unfortunately, it was one of those nights where you can be 'on base' all night, but just feel like your heart didn't have a chance to connect. Just like Martha, distracted, and concerned with much serving and missing the chance to commune with the God-Man in her living room. Jesus tells her that only 'one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her.' Now what is that good part? Luke 10:39,

"And she also had a sister named Mary, who sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word."

Now you might be saying to yourself, 'That passage does not have the word behold in it, I want my money back!" Well, before you get too irate, I will share something from class this week. We were told that in the Gospels there are two significant ways that Jesus is described, Word/Wisdom and Light/Image. Contained in these two descriptions of Jesus are the two responses that are needed to the revelation of God. In the same way that we behold the image of God, we sit and hear the words of Jesus. This is the same heart posture of sitting before the Lord and letting our senses engage with the beautiful God.

So I will let my life be an object lesson for all: Don't let yourself be distracted by 'important things', but make every effort (even if it means turning off your computer) to gaze upon the Lord and hear the words of the Living God.

Day13

A few wekes ago I was amassing a huge document of every time the word 'behold' was used in the Bible. One specific day, I was working my way up through 1&2 Chronicles up through Isaiah. It was quite the task, especially when so many of the passages were long and had to do with some sort of judgment. Then I stumbled upon this passage and my heart just came alive, Isaiah 7:14,

"Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will conceive and bear a Son and shall call His name Immanuel."

This passage is stunning in its simplicity, and yet, people have been staring at the mystery of the incarnation for centuries and still no one can fathom the depths of this act. How is it that the creator can step down and join in the same substance as His creation? How could the fullness of divinity rest in that tiny body? Certainly this is a sign and a wonder. A virgin will have a child and suddenly, for the first time in ages, God will be dwelling with man. I wish that you guys could appreciate how long it is taking me to write this post. Honestly, I just keep staring at my bible, wondering: what more can I say? I'll say this. I certainly don't have all of these mysteries figured out, but I will join with Mary and 'ponder these things in my heart,' until I receive more revelation. I just might stick to this one verse all week. It has so much to it; I just can't do it justice in one entry!

Day 12

This is the glory of being on the nightwatch, it is 7am on Wednesday, and it is still my birthday. Due to the late hour and the significance of the day, I am resolved to take the night off from blogging! I hope that everyone else has a wonderful January 17th... I am going to bed!

Day 11

Ahhh...today was the first day of school for the new semester. This module I am taking Synoptic Gospels taught by Stephen Venable. Just after one day, I know that the class will be amazing. The one downside is that with three hours of homework every night, it seriously cuts into the time that I have to 'behold and bless the Lord.' Thankfully though, one of our assignments tonight was to meditate on John 1:14,

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

Now I have probably read this passage hundreds of times, however tonight I got incredibly frustrated with it. In class we discussed how we have to understand the identity of Jesus before we can comprehend the works of Jesus. This is very true. We have to understand that Jesus is the son of God who is healing the sick and casting out demons. Why is this important? Because, if we try to figure out the identity of Jesus by His works, then we just think that He was a great, sinless man with supernatural powers. While that language might seem harsh, that is what I discovered that I believed about Jesus tonight. I didn't know that I had a wrong perception until I tried to wrestle with the mystery of the incarnation. I thought that I had it all down, but it turns out that if you think that you have it all figured out, then you are probably going about it all wrong. So, that is why I am frustrated, tonight I went from having it all figured out, to resigning myself to a lifetime of gazing at a mystery that I might never comprehend. Ok, start interceding for me...Eph 1:17- wisdom and revelation...Oh, God.

P.S - It is January 16th... and my 25th birthday!

Day 9 and 10

Last night I was going to blog, but my dear friend Lizzy stopped me. Apparently she thinks I am getting 'addicted' to blogging or something like that. Ha...well....no really I could quit anytime...

Anyway, today in E-12 we were prophesying over each other and one person looked me square in the eyes and said, "You are a friend of the judge." It really impacted me because in the midst of all of the end time teaching we receive here at IHOP, it is very important to me to not despise the judgments of the Lord, but to actually learn to love 'the Jesus in red.' Actually, as I was amassing my list of beholding verses, it was stunning to see how many times the Lord called us to behold his judgments on the earth. From Gen 6:17,

“And behold, I Myself am bringing flood waters on the earth, to destroy from under heaven all flesh in which is the breath of life; everything that is on the earth shall die,”

to Revelation 17:1,

"Then one of the angels who had the seven bowls came and talked with me, saying to me, "Come, I will show you the judgment of the great harlot who sits on many waters,"

the Lord is calling us to gaze at His judgments. He wants to help us not to be offended at Him while He is revealing Himself to the nations of the world. This is so difficult! He is so holy and righteous and cannot abide sin, and yet so tender and merciful and never delights in the death of the wicked. The tensions could rip open the human heart were it not for the grace of the Lord to steady us. We can't shy away from the coming Judge. Behold, He is coming, with His garments stained red, and I have to be ready to receive Him as He is and not as I would like Him to be.

Day 8

Tonight I was able to spend some time talking with my good friend Alison Smith, who is simply amazing. We started talking about the promises that the Lord has spoken over our lives and His faithfulness to bring them about, even when our life seems to be taking us in a completely opposite direction. I mean, let's face it. When I was little I never said, "I want to be an intercessory missionary when I grow up." And when I went to college, I didn't get my degree in prayer and fasting. Before I came to IHOP, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what the Lord wanted me to do with my life and then when I came here, it seemed like all of those ideas were wrong. I had found something at IHOP that made me come alive, but I still had other things that I felt like the Lord had promised me that I would do. So what about those promises? Had I heard wrong, or would He remain faithful to bring them about? It turns out that the Lord is incredibly faithful and His leadership is PERFECT to bring us into the place where our hearts come the most alive. As we were having this conversation I was reminded of a beholding verse, Luke 24:49,

"Behold, I send the promise of My Father, but tarry in the city of Jerusalem until you are endued with power from on high."

Here is another common IHOP verse. I have used this verse many times to explain why I am still in Kansas City and still at FSM. "I am just waiting in the city until the Holy Spirit comes on me and I am sent out." But tonight, I feel like the Lord is simply asking me, 'Will you wait on the promises when it looks like I am taking you in the opposite direction? Will you remain steadfast in doing what I called you to do today, and not worrying about fulfilling the promises yourself? Will you trust my leadership and my timing? Will you wait for me?' I am glad to say that today I can smile to myself and say yes. And then sigh. And then smile again.

He really is faithful, and I am not crazy for waiting.

An Early Birthday Present?

Yes, I know. I am getting older. Yes, I am aware of how this next birthday marks an important transition in to adulthood (for real this time!) Yes. On Tuesday, January 16th, I will be turning 25! But today, I was contacted by the Kansas City Rep Theatre and offered two free tickets to see King Lear next Friday! It turns out that the God who fashioned my heart knew exactly what kind of little thing would move my heart. So now my only concern is: who am I going to take with me?

Any suggestions?

Day 7

All today I was thinking, I just want to meditate on Jesus; to behold the Man. In our briefing tonight, we went around the room and asked each person, 'What is one thing that you are thankful for?' Jordan's answer right off the bat was, 'I'm thankful that Jesus is a Man.' Me too. So today we will look to one of my favorite passages about the Messiah, Zechariah 6:12,

'Behold the Man, whose name is the BRANCH! From His place He shall branch out, and He shall build the temple of the Lord; yes He shall build the temple of the Lord. He shall bear the glory, and sit and rule upon His throne; So He shall be a priest on His throne, and the counsel of peace shall be between them both.'

I love this passage! There are so many days when I get distracted and weighed down with many things and this verse will bring me back. Behold the Man! Behold the Branch! As I was pacing and meditating on this verse, Cassie Campbell began singing one of my favorite songs at IHOP and it fit in so well, I have to include it some lyrics. It is called 'Oh, the beauty of this Man.'

My heart is stirred by a noble theme, bringing blessed words unto my king. Giving up my love as a sweet offering. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

For the sake of love, He left His Father's throne, searching for a bride bone of His bone, such a humble kiss to make our dust His own. Oh, the beauty of this man!

See His hands, His head, His feet and His side. They bear the marks of wrath, a pure sacrifice, to secure her love by giving up His life. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

She now faint with love, beacons Him to come establish righteousness as God's risen Son. And on that glorious day, she'll marry her fair one. Oh, the beauty of this Man!

I still remember exactly where I was sitting when I realized that Jesus was still a man. It was at an EGS back when they were in the prayer room. I had known that Jesus became a Man and lived and died and rose from the dead. But the earth shattering thought was that today Jesus is still a Man. He rose from the dead and took on a resurrected human body. He then ascended to heaven in that same body and is today sitting at the right hand of the Father, not as an ethereal spirit-like thing, but as a Man. For some reason, that completely changed the way that I think about Jesus. When I say that Jesus loves me, it isn't a concept that loves me, but a Man. When I pray to Jesus, I am not praying to air, but to a Man. It makes the whole concept of intercession so much more concrete. So tonight, I pray that you will behold the Man, Jesus Christ, the one who was, who is and who is to come!

Day 6

What does it look like when a Night Watcher has insomnia? It means that it is 7 am and I am wired! How am I ever going to get to sleep. Ahh... some nice blogging should to the trick, don't you think?

So tonight's verse is inspired by the teaching I attended at the Boiler Room today. At the Boiler Room we are doing something called The God Story. Essentially what that means is that each week they go through a different part of the story of God's dealings with His people Israel. Starting with creation, we are walking through a narrative account of God's story. So this week we were discussing the Northern Kingdom and the ministries of the prophets Amos and Hosea. These two prophets were preaching just decades before God used the Assyrian Empire to judge the Northern Kingdom. In the book of Amos we are given insight into the reasons for their judgment; social injustice. Amos 2:6,

"For three transgressions of Israel, and for four, I will not turn away its punishment because they sell their righteous for silver and the poor for a pair of sandals."

Apparently the Lord really cares about the oppression of the poor. But why? Doesn't it seem a little harsh to judge a nation because of some people have a little less money than others? Well, actually the Lord has already set a precedent for this action in Exodus 3:9,

"Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel has come to me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. "

The Lord heard the cry of the Israelites in their oppression and he delivered them from the hands of Egypt by bringing crippling judgments upon the oppressors. However, now the tables have turned and it is those who have been delivered, those who have known the salvation of the Lord, who have become the oppressors. This grieves the heart of God. Those who have received the mercy of the Lord should be the first ones to extend it to others. The whole 'freely you have received, freely give' comes into play again. This is really important to God! And if we then take that principle and apply it to our lives in America, it becomes a chilling reality. How many times have I contributed to the oppression of the poor? How many times have I ignored it or completely forgotten about it? As an intercessor, I should be on the front lines of this, crying out to God to help restore the poor of this nation. I should be crying out for the cycle of poverty to be broken in Kansas City and for the church to begin to rise up in compassion for those in distress. Tonight they were calling for people to 'get their hands dirty' and actively minister to the homeless downtown. Honestly, I am not ready for that. But I want to want to have a heart for it (which is the step before actually having a heart for it). But I know that if it is on the heart of God, then He will make it a priority to me as I align my heart with His.

So this is getting long and the sun is coming up, I am going to try to get some sleep. May the Lord who made heaven and earth, bless you from Zion!

Day 5

It's day five and this time of consecration is just beginning. I am loving it though. Tonight I was reading The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. If you have not read it, YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK! This book will seriously change your ideas about what being a servant of Christ is all about. This guy was tortured, beaten, imprisoned and in the midst of it led thousands of people to the Lord during of intense persecution under a communist regime. It is amazing to me that this kind of abandoned lifestyle is what the Lord calls us to when we 'take up our cross and follow Him.' In Revelation 2:10 - Jesus tell the believers in Smyrna that they will suffer persecution, but the Lord doesn't call them to avoid it, He calls them to endure it and to remain faithful unto death.

"Do not fear any of those things that you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life."

These seem like pretty harsh words from the Lord. Why would He allow us to endure such trials? Romans 5:3-4 gives us an answer.

"And not only that, but we glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope."

So somehow in the midst of suffering for the gospel, the Lord uses it to train us and to give us the hope we need to trust in Him. I know that I am not ready to face anything close to what Brother Yun went through, but I am praying that as I seek the Lord, that He would prepare me to endure such trials if the time comes. So I will continue to behold and bless the Lord, especially in the midst of suffering, because He is the one endured the cross for me and He will give me the grace to endure suffering as well when the time comes.

Day 3 and 4

Unfortunately due to an all day and all night trip home from South Cakalaky, I was unable to blog yesterday. It's ok. We'll do two for one today. Two verses, one theme for your mediating pleasure. Alright, I have to admit the first one doesn't have the word behold in my translation, it is the same word and so I am going to use it anyway. Gen 22:13,

"Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son."

And now to the New Testament, John 1:29,

"The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Behold The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!"

Here it is the dual fulfillment of the word that Abraham spoke to calm his worried son Isaac, "Don't worry. The Lord himself will provide the sacrifice." In the short-term He did. Abraham looked and saw a ram, a substitution to spare the life of his beloved son. But thousands of years later John the Baptist stood on the river bank and saw Jesus Christ as a lamb that would take away the sins of the world. Once again here is the substitution, the atonement, the one who will face the slaughter so that the beloved sons of God won't have to. This is one reality that I feel like I could gaze at for years and still be mystified by. God became a man and then died for people. Even as I write this I have to pause and look at it again. It seems incredible or foolish even. Surely God in all His infinite wisdom could have found a way to save humanity that didn't involve Him dying, couldn't He? No, the infinite wisdom of God declares that this was the only way that humans could be reconciled to God. There was no other way, no better plan. This is the wisdom of God. What kind of God is this?!? Once again I see that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts and that when it comes down to it; I have no idea who this God is. The only solution: pray for the spirit of wisdom and revelation and keep reading His word and He will surely make Himself known.

Day 2

So far, it has been an interesting night at ZHOP...

At 11:30pm, the night watch meets together to brief for the night. Instead of having different teams brief for each two hour set, all 8 of us (5 from zhop and 3 of us from KC) get together to talk about what our focus will be for the entire six-hour shift. Tonight Tom Lacy, the leader of the night watch throws his bible to me and says, 'Hey Charity, why don't you tell the group what you were telling me earlier? We should focus on that tonight.' This is Tom's way of telling me to make up something on the fly. Suddenly everyone's focus is on me and I start to scroll through all the verses I know. Feigning confidence, I begin to flip through my bible, I think to myself, 'I might as well give them a beholding verse right?' Then it hits me. I confidently state, 'Everyone turn to Revelation 21:5,

Then He who sat on the throne said, 'Behold, I make all things new.' And He said to me, 'Write, for these things are true and faithful.'

Whew...I throw the bible back to Tom and sit down. Then Tom throws the bible back to me says, 'So what is our prayer focus for intercession tonight?' 'Well, um, since God is a God of restoration, we are going to pray for the restoration of this land (the old PTL property) and the unity of the ministries here on base (morningstar, the cause, mahesh shavda and zhop).' A general wave of head nods pass through the room. Relieved, I toss the bible back to Tom.

Then Tom, immediately throws the bible back to me and says, 'could you give us a sermonette on the importance of meditating on scripture and an example of how you do that practically in your daily life?' I sigh noticeably, but the zhop kids look really interested in my answer so I know that I can't make something up. Sighing again, I tell them about the importance of having the word inside them and confess to them that I am much more of a scholar than a contemplative and tell them that most of the time my meditation on the word involves cross references and commentaries rather that pondering and pontificating. Once again I get the nod from the group and, hoping this is the last time, toss the bible back to Tom. This time he holds on to it and the last order of business is to assign singers for the 12am intercession set. 'Charity, can you be on first response?' Sigh. 'Yep, of course.' I don't sing, but they don't seem to mind, this is one of the first intercession sets they have had in months because they haven't had enough people to run one. It is my last night at ZHOP this week, but it certainly won't be the last ever. It is 'little, rough, and ugly,' but it is beautiful to the Lord and beautiful to me.

So I hope that you are able to 'behold and bless the Lord,' even in the most unlikely of circumstances!

Day 1

Even though I am currently on vacation at the Zadok House of Prayer in South Carolina, (that's right I went to another house of prayer for my vacation...), I am still joining with the kids in KC to mark today as the start of the 90 days of consecration. And like any good IHOPer I am obliged to begin any treatise on 'beholding' with Psalm 27:4:

"One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the
beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple."

Actually, this is not strictly and IHOP ideal, in fact tonight Kirk Bennet was speaking at the Zadok School of the Priests and the necessity of messengers living a priestly lifestyle. He said that priests were the ones who should keep knowledge and that they are the messengers of the Lord (Mal 2:7). How did these priests get this message? It came from dwelling in the house of the Lord, beholding the beauty of the Lord, and inquiring in His temple. The three-fold call to dwell, behold, and inquire is necessary in the preparation of messengers (which we are all about at FSM).

One last note about this 90 days is that consecration is not about becoming more holy or better for better's sake, but it is about separating ourselves to prepare for the purpose of encounter. So, my prayer for anyone who stumbles across this blog is that you would prepare for an encounter with the Lord, and as you behold Him that you would truly meet the King of Kings in a new way.

90 Days of Consecration

I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy Onething!

Now it is 2007, time for new year's resolutions, or if you are on the nightwatch at IHOP, it is time for the 90 days of consecration. You might be asking yourself, "What is the 90 days of consecration?" Well, as a nightwatch we are going to spend the next three months seeking the Lord in a very intentional way. Some things like no talking in the Prayer Room for 90 days, a 21 day fast, weekly meetings to go through the Psalms of Ascents as well as learning how to live a focused life are on the agenda.

But the thing that I am most excited about is that I have purposed in my heart to be focused about 'beholding and blessing the Lord.' So for the past month I have been going through my bible to find every time it says the word, 'behold.' It seems to me that the word behold is like a double exclamation point in the word of God calling us to see, look, do a double take and even gaze at what the Lord is describing, and every night for the next 90 days I am going to meditate on a verse about beholding. So, now starting Friday, January 5th, I will share my verse of the day with your and hopefully a few thoughts to go with it. Hopefully this will be a blessing for some of you who desire to stand in the night (or day) and bless the Lord.

So check it out.